You Probably Think This Song is About You

I seem to have an over-developed sense of entitlement.

I ordered pizza tonight, and I noticed it was larger than expected the moment the delivery man pulled it from his delivery bag.  The following thoughts went through my mind in precisely this order (in rapid succession):

  1. This pizza is larger than my usual order.
  2. I hope I didn’t somehow order the wrong size by mistake!
  3. I’m certain I paid the right amount, so I must have ordered the right size.
  4. Therefore: they must be having a special!  Yay!
  5. Wait, that means I have way more pizza than I expected.
  6. I guess I’ll just have more leftovers.
  7. Uh oh.  I won’t be able to eat leftover pizza over Christmas.  Now what am I supposed to do with it?
  8. I wish they’d told me they were having a special in advance!
  9. I guess before I finish shutting the door I should check that this was really supposed to be mine.
  10. Nope.  This is addressed to somebody on the next block.

In particular, let me draw your attention to the fact that “they must be having a special” came in at number four, while “I bet this isn’t mine” ranked as low as number nine.

(My pizza was still in his car, and for the record was the best pizza I’ve ever gotten from this restaurant.)