Most businesses I’ve called to cancel local services or change my address in preparation for moving made the process effortless.

And then I called the Boston Globe.

Jason: How can I help you?
Me: I’m moving to the other side of the country, so unfortunately I’ll need to cancel my subscription.

Jason: Do you realize that one of the advantages of your Monday to Friday subscription is the great local news coverage?
Me: I do, and I’ve enjoyed it, but since I’m moving it wouldn’t really be “local” anymore.

Jason: We’d be happy to update your delivery address.
Me: I’m moving across the country.

Jason: You could let someone else in the household take advantage of your subscription.
Me: The entire household is moving.  I really do need to just cancel the subscription.

Jason: Would it help if I offered a 25% discount?
Me: Err.. no.

I understand that businesses don’t want to let customers go without a fight, but when I open the conversation with “I’m moving,” it would save us all a lot of time and trouble if you just cut your losses and let me go. I like the paper, I’m fine with the cost, and I’m satisfied with the service.  There’s nothing for you to fix.  I’m just no longer going to be located within a thousand kilometers of your delivery area.

I happened to notice this standard FedEx shipping envelope sitting atop our supply cupboard at work:

The line at the top reads, “Do not ship liquids, blood, or diagnostics in this packaging.”

Uh oh.  I was about to print some diagnostic log files from my latest application and ship them to New York.  It’s a good thing I noticed that important warning!

We’re contemplating a cross-country drive this summer, starting in the Boston area and heading west.  I asked Google Maps to start plotting out the trip with some stops along the way, and it was doing well until I asked for a detour through Niagra Falls and Canada.

I find step 59 (“Make a U-turn”) a little alarming,  since it occurs on the provincial highway system — Canada’s equivalent of the Interstate highways in the United States.

I zoomed out to see what might have brought Google to this unfortunate recommendation.  I think this explains the problem rather well:

So basically, Google is just acknowledging what’s bound to happen anyway.  “This way is 420!  No, it says this way is!  No, this way!  Ahh, screw it; just turn around over here.”

Well played, Google.  Well played.

(In Maps’ defense, there actually is a cut in the median just beyond what Street View shows there where a U-turn looks legal, at least, but let’s at least pretend I’ll be able to take the right “420” exit in the first place.)

I liked this coupon found on a particular restaurant’s Foodler page:

Although completely illogical and irrational, this made me postpone placing my first order with this restaurant since I see that I can get 20% off any order.

I used my new JetBlue American Express card for the first time last weekend to get dinner delivered through Foodler — Cheesecake Factory dinner, to be specific.

Here’s how the charge appears on my statement online:

FOODLER.COM
AMBULANCE SERVICES $36.53

This man is dying!  Somebody bring him four-cheese pasta and a slice of Linda’s fudge cake, stat!

Typically, when joining public Wi-Fi networks, whether free or paid, users are locked in “wireless jail” until they’ve agreed to the terms and conditions of the service and, when applicable, paid for the session.

On most free networks, this just requires clicking an “I Agree” button after pretending to read the legal contract, and perhaps watching an advertisement.  I did find an amusing wireless jail page at Phoenix Sky Harbor airport last year, but at Denver International Airport this morning I got this ad (at right) for Microsoft’s Bing search engine.

The line at the top reads, “The free wi-fi session starts when a search begins.” And it’s not just marketing fluff; I really couldn’t start using the network until I’d conducted a search on Bing.

Wondering if anyone else had already commented on this mildly obnoxious tactic, I decided to search for the text that appears above the ad: “Wi-Fi access sponsored by Bing™” (with quotes).

Instead, Microsoft chose to run a search for \”Wi-Fi access sponsored by Bingâ¢\” which naturally found no results.

And thus, after just one (coerced) search, Microsoft has convinced me not to bother trying again.  Bing doesn’t even understand quote marks or special characters!  Good job, Microsoft.  Good job.

They might have exercised a little more caution in this particular advertisement if they’d analyzed what pages I was trying to get to in the first place: GMail, Google Calendar, Google Wave, Google Voice, and Google Reader — the five pages that open automatically whenever I launch (wait for it…) Google Chrome.

It’s like a little clue.

At the corner of Highway 119 and Main Street in Longmont, Colorado is this storefront, enticing passersby with some large signs (which appear here unedited).  One problem: I have absolutely no idea what they’re selling.

This is my all-time favorite grocery store aisle identification sign:

I was reluctant to find out what products, specifically, one might find in this aisle, but its mere existence is awesome.