Most businesses I’ve called to cancel local services or change my address in preparation for moving made the process effortless.

And then I called the Boston Globe.

Jason: How can I help you?
Me: I’m moving to the other side of the country, so unfortunately I’ll need to cancel my subscription.

Jason: Do you realize that one of the advantages of your Monday to Friday subscription is the great local news coverage?
Me: I do, and I’ve enjoyed it, but since I’m moving it wouldn’t really be “local” anymore.

Jason: We’d be happy to update your delivery address.
Me: I’m moving across the country.

Jason: You could let someone else in the household take advantage of your subscription.
Me: The entire household is moving.  I really do need to just cancel the subscription.

Jason: Would it help if I offered a 25% discount?
Me: Err.. no.

I understand that businesses don’t want to let customers go without a fight, but when I open the conversation with “I’m moving,” it would save us all a lot of time and trouble if you just cut your losses and let me go. I like the paper, I’m fine with the cost, and I’m satisfied with the service.  There’s nothing for you to fix.  I’m just no longer going to be located within a thousand kilometers of your delivery area.