“Is Windows Vista free?”
– Coworker (to me)
Overheard
Oh! The Barbanity!
“I hate having to shave Barbie’s head to make her look like a guy.”
– Coworker
It’s a Uality Keyboard
“I’ll be sure to specifically discuss quality control the people doing data entry.”
– Me. To a client.
…
Smeg.
Whereas I Only Comprehend It
Teacher: “You are supposed to be doing a packet, not dismantling your pen.”
Student: “But I’m not dismantling it – I’m taking it apart!”
Teacher: “‘Dismantling’ and ‘taking apart’ are synonyms – they mean the same thing.”
Student: “Yes, but I understand ‘taking apart.'”
– Sixth Grade Interaction
I Didn’t Know Those Words Could Even Go Together
“Sophie! Do not eat the can opener!”
Politeness is Overrated
“YES, it’s rude to sleep with someone else in your boyfriend’s house while you’re living with him.”
– BU student on the phone, indignantly
Just When I Was Optimistic Again
“It’s not completely adolescent humor. It’s not all about boobs and farts.”
– Overheard at Work
Who’s This “Spot” Character?
I went to see Boston Ballet perform “Romeo and Juliet.” Beside me sat a father taking his daughter to the show.
Guy: “What’s this story about?”
Daughter: “I don’t know.”
This doesn’t bode well for society. I could see if it were some obscure ballet you have to see to understand, but surely at some point in your education somebody mentioned “Romeo and Juliet” once, neh?
The End… Is Just the Beginning Again
Overheard Phone Call: “They’re gonna enter their password, and then click ‘Forgot Password.’ (pause) No, they’re gonna ENTER their password. (pause) Right, and then click ‘Forgot Password.'”
Stay in School
“Are you still walking the street?”
“No! I only did that when I was younger!”
– 22 year-old Harvard Girls on the T