From the Frequently Asked Questions on BU’s Hillel website:
Q: So, is there Kosher food available at Hillel?
Did somebody miss a meeting or something?
Quips
In the Words of Wikipedia
On 1 October 2006, an anonymous user viewed Wikipedia from the IP address 81.159.242.155.
At 1:15 the user added the heading “Early career” to the article on satirist David Frost. The heading has since been changed to “Early life.” Another contribution to the article on British journalist Carol Thatcher was also later removed or reformatted.
This person has made one enduring contribution, however. At precisely 5:34 pm on that day, the anonymous user added these immortal words to the article on the 1940s:
The 1940s decade ran from 1940 to 1949.
It really sums it up nicely, doesn’t it?
Mr. Current Resident, At Your Service
Dear Schweitzer Linen,
I keep requesting that you remove Ms. Kimberly, the previous occupant of my apartment, from your catalog mailing list. While she may have been a loyal customer, I have never ordered your products, and I’m opposed to printed catalogs anyway.
Crossing out her name and circling “Or Current Resident” on the catalog really wasn’t what I had in mind.
Sincerely,
Not Ms. Kimberly
(It’s more likely the circling and crossing out happened upon my building receiving the catalog, but it’s still absurd. It’s been two years now.)
Do You Bite Your Thumb at Me?
Peapod, the online grocer, assumes (correctly) that most searches are for either a category (Brown Rice, Instant Rice, Rice Cereal, et cetera) or a brand (Carolina Rice, Uncle Ben’s).
Today I wanted to find Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Knowing that I’d see a list of brands, I searched for “Ben.” Sure enough, Ben & Jerry’s is right there under “Looking for a brand?” So is Uncle Ben’s and Benadryl.
Under “Looking for a category?” I see “Skin Care Acne Medications” (and nothing else).
Blërg!
The Asterisk of Complete Negation (2)
I’m looking for decent bug tracking software. It’s annoyingly hard to find. I thought I’d take a look at a product called “Pesticide 2005” which offers a demo:
Try out the full featured online installation of Pesticide 2005.*
*Note: Certain Functionalities have been deactivated in this demo
Anybody want to tell me the difference between a “feature” and a “functionality” in this context?
Polar Bears in Snowstorms, Perhaps?
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Other times, it seems the photographer may have largely missed the point. That’s right, they offer a solid white photograph of a solid white object, with a helpful black border so you can tell where the photograph ends and the page begins.
The Asterisk of Complete Negation
“Back Stage Tour*”
How exciting! A back stage tour! I wonder what that little star refers to.
“* for insurance reasons the tour does not go back stage.”
Wait, I’m sorry, what?
I’m certain there’s a Simpsons line to this effect, but I can’t think of the precise wording.
A Powerful Weapon in Concentration Fights
According to the Globe (June 19, 2008) a man back in December 2007 shined a green laser into the cockpit of a police helicopter, forcing the pilot to take evasive action. He was formally charged yesterday. What struck me particularly was the description of the laser:
The laser Sasso is accused of using was classified by the Food and Drug Administration as a Class IIIb laser, which can cause burns, temporary blindness, and distractions, prosecutors said.
“Do you expect me to fly with this thing in my eyes?” “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to get distracted.”
I don’t mean to suggest that shining a laser anywhere near a person’s face is ever acceptable, just that “distractions” are not a particularly potent argument to advance.
The End of Main Street… Is Just the Beginning Again
Over Christmas I discovered the joy of traveling from Boston to Burlington by airplane, cutting the trip down to a cool 60 minutes. Then Delta Airlines terminated its contract with Big Sky Airlines, who flew the route, leaving no direct flights to Burlington in my future.
Searching for a replacement, I found flights to Rutland and Plattsburgh on Cape Air. I deemed Plattsburgh viable and started searching for easy ways to get back across the lake. One option recommended was Greyhound:
| PLATTSBURGH, NY | 12:25am | ADP | 0297 | ||
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| RS EXIT 15 DENNYS, NY | 02:25am | 02:40am | :15 | ADP | 0297 |
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| ALBANY, NY | 03:20am | ADP | 0297 | ||
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| ALBANY, NY | Transfer | 06:00am | 2:40 | GLI | 4184 |
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| WORCESTER, MA | 08:25am | 08:30am | :05 | GLI | 4184 |
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| NEWTON, MA | 09:25am | 09:25am | GLI | 4184 | |
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| BOSTON, MA | 09:45am | GLI | 4184 | ||
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| BOSTON, MA | Transfer | 02:45pm | 5:00 | GLI | 9143 |
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| HANOVER, NH | 04:55pm | 04:55pm | GLI | 9143 | |
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| WHITE RIVER JCT, VT | 05:05pm | 05:30pm | :25 | GLI | 9143 |
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| MONTPELIER, VT | 06:25pm | 06:25pm | GLI | 9143 | |
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| BURLINGTON, VT | 07:10pm | ||||
…
Blërg!
Ms. Hoover?
At the risk of sounding like Ralph Wiggum:
It smells like flowers outside.
Perhaps I should go out there more.