Author: Ben

Ben http://benjaminfenster.com/

Extensive Stripper Research

I’ve started getting caught up on season 5 of Doctor Who, and (of course) reading about it on Wikipedia at the same time. Since The Doctor’s new companion works as a “kiss-o-gram” at the beginning of the first episode, one thing naturally lead to another, and I landed on the Strip-o-gram article.

This type of entertainment became popular in the 1970s…. Exact dates are difficult to ascertain however, as there does not appear to have been any major research carried out on the subject.

Wait, should there have been major research on the subject? Should there have been any research on the subject?

(And in case you were wondering, my fianceé did indeed see this post when all I’d written was “Extensive Stripper Research,” and now I’m in trouble.)

Highway Robbery?

Mayflower Moving Truck

Mayflower Moving Truck

A week ago, two movers from Mayflower Transit came to my apartment to load my belongings onto a clearly-branded Mayflower Transit truck (shown at right driving down Commonwealth Avenue).

This afternoon, a driver from United Van Lines called to inform me he’d be dropping off my belongings at our new apartment.

So, at some point between Boston and Colorado, did you two meet up and swap? Did the United driver hijack the Mayflower truck partway here? Or did you just repaint the truck en route?

Through deep and detailed research (i.e., reading one Wikipedia article) I now know that both are owned by the same parent company, but that doesn’t make the initial phone call any less confusing.

Xcel’s Graph

Our new provider of heating gas in Colorado is Xcel Energy. They have an elaborate Flash-based website for customers which includes this graph of usage history:

Xcel Usage Graph

Xcel Usage Graph

I see three key problems here.

First, the “3D” effect is widely known to distort perceptions of data. It’s too easy, for example, to see those last two dark bars as depicting similar magnitudes since the leading edge of one is so close to the trailing edge of the other. This chart has a single dimension of data (“cost”), so it needs a one-dimensional presentation. “Pretty” is confusing — what Edward Tufte calls “chartjunk.”

Second, the chart overlaps data from three years, emphasizing comparisons between costs in the same month of different years, while making the long-term trend difficult to identify. Are we actually spending less this year than last? This arrangement of data is particularly troubling since peak usage is naturally in the winter, which always spans two calendar years. Having so much historical data is a privilege; let’s see it all laid out chronologically.

Finally, what’s plotted is not actually “usage” at all, but “cost.” It’s impossible to tell from this chart alone whether we used less energy this year or if rates fell. In fact, our dramatically higher costs in 2008 were from a previous residence where Xcel provided both gas and electricity. The cost was higher, even if our gas usage was lower. We need charts that show our energy usage (in kilowatt hours or in cubic meters, as appropriate), not how much money we’ve spent.

Google’s Gone

This is never a good sign:

Google Does Not Exist

Google Does Not Exist

At least it’s not “Google can’t be found.”  The irony would be stifling.

There are certain aspects of Verizon’s service I won’t miss, though in their defense my Internet connection has only malfunctioned once in the four years I’ve had it.

I’m the Mayor of Test – Wrong Locality

I accidentally zoomed to the wrong spot on a Google Map and ended up seeing Laramie, Wyoming.  Also: an inexplicably Asian name and a place called “Test – Wrong Locality.”

Google Maps: "Test - Wrong Locality"

Google Maps: "Test - Wrong Locality"

Laramie, Wyoming: home of Google Maps’ best test cases.

Boston Globe Fail

Most businesses I’ve called to cancel local services or change my address in preparation for moving made the process effortless.

And then I called the Boston Globe.

Jason: How can I help you?
Me: I’m moving to the other side of the country, so unfortunately I’ll need to cancel my subscription.

Jason: Do you realize that one of the advantages of your Monday to Friday subscription is the great local news coverage?
Me: I do, and I’ve enjoyed it, but since I’m moving it wouldn’t really be “local” anymore.

Jason: We’d be happy to update your delivery address.
Me: I’m moving across the country.

Jason: You could let someone else in the household take advantage of your subscription.
Me: The entire household is moving.  I really do need to just cancel the subscription.

Jason: Would it help if I offered a 25% discount?
Me: Err.. no.

I understand that businesses don’t want to let customers go without a fight, but when I open the conversation with “I’m moving,” it would save us all a lot of time and trouble if you just cut your losses and let me go. I like the paper, I’m fine with the cost, and I’m satisfied with the service.  There’s nothing for you to fix.  I’m just no longer going to be located within a thousand kilometers of your delivery area.

Making Too Much Lemonade

Katie Johnston writes in this morning’s Boston Globe on how Europe’s airport shutdowns in the wake of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano affect Boston:

Travelers’ despair aside, officials are considering the economic impact of the disruptions on Boston. Some are hoping that the loss of business from Marathon spectators who could not get here will be offset by those who can’t get out.
“Honey, I know you wanted to be home by now, but since we’re stuck here let’s at least buy some more souvenirs.”

Marathon 2010

I woke up this morning thinking, “I’m too tired and sore to get out of bed.”  Twenty-five thousand other people got up and thought, “Maybe I’ll run 26.2 miles today.”  The Boston Marathon started in 1897 and happened today for the 114th time.

I (of course) find the logistics of coordinating a marathon as fascinating as someone who’s capable of running in one.  Look at the precision:

Water distribution near Cleveland Circle

The supply list for each water station includes “Cardboard (23×36), 128 pieces” and I absolutely cannot figure out what they’d use that many pieces of cardboard for.  It also includes two shovels, six rakes, and 12 “Gatorade stirrers.”  And, inevitably, four rolls of duct tape.  You can’t do anything without duct tape.

The marathon brings out some local color in all parts of the region.  I caught this pair of bananas being chased by a gorilla toward the end of the race, for example:

Gorilla chasing bananas

Gorilla chasing bananas

But I’ve always been particularly intrigued by the women of Wellesley College.  They traditionally line the route alongside the College, screaming so loudly that their segment of the course is dubbed the “scream tunnel.”  They also offer kisses to the passing runners.

This pair of photographs comes from the Boston Globe:

Kiss a First Year

Kiss a First Year

Kiss a Senior

Kiss a Senior

Notice that “I’m a senior” and “I’m a first year” are both given as added incentives for stopping for a kiss.  Sophomores and juniors are, perhaps, less skilled kissers.  One sign this year read, “I Majored in Kissing.”  Another advertised (and here we step up a few notches on the “disturbing” scale), “I won’t tell your wife.”

It’s easy at first to see the creepy side of this tradition.  Middle-aged men essentially pause in the middle of a race to take advantage of the fact that they do not ordinarily get to kiss 18 year-old women.  And we know from OkTrends that they want to.

But that overlooks why spectators gather for this marathon in general: to encourage these runners who are testing the limits of their own endurance — sometimes beyond the breaking point. And it’s not just a poetic ideal.  Fans shout encouragement to each individual. Many runners write their names on their clothes just to hear thousands of people shout them along the way. Imagine at mile 22 feeling like you can’t possibly take another step only to have a complete stranger start jogging along side you and shouting with the crowd, “Let’s hear it for Sarah!  Come on, Sarah!  You’re almost there!  It’s all downhill now!” I’ve seen it happen.

Twenty-five thousand people run in the Boston Marathon.  Half a million people come to cheer them on.  Volunteers hand out cups of water and clear the streets with their rakes, shovels, and duct tape.  Locals put on absurd costumes to make everyone laugh. Bands perform in the street to make everyone dance. And at Wellesley, the students cheer on the athletes so emphatically that runners actually have to remember to pace themselves through the tunnel.

A couple years ago, Adidas (one of the event’s sponsors) ran ads that showed a bib number along with that runner’s “reason for running.”  One said simply “To hear the Wellesley scream.”  My absolute favorite read:

My muscles were screaming, but the fans were screaming louder.

And if that isn’t enough, you can even stop for a kiss.