Dear Passengers at Logan International Airport,

You’ve clearly noticed the many Starbucks restaurants conveniently located throughout the airport. Let me take just a moment to explain how they work.

Since many customers are ordering coffee at the same time in busy locations like these, the baristas (i.e., staff) will call out a description of each drink they’ve prepared as they put it out on the counter for customers to collect. This lets you verify that you’re picking up the correct drink.

If the barista announces, for example, “tall with-whip nonfat caramel macchiato” but what you ordered was “decaf tea,” that drink is not yours. It belongs to someone who actually ordered what the barista described and who, as a rule, would like to consume it.

Common practice in this situation is to step aside and let the intended customer pick up the cup. It’s considered impolite to take it yourself, sip from it, and then walk away muttering that it’s a terrible cup of tea.  It’s also generally regarded as incorrect to pick up three beverages completely at random, take them back to the cashier, and complain that they’re not what you ordered.

These actions do not get you your drink any faster or better, but do inconvenience the people whose drinks you’ve stolen.

Customers in Starbucks locations elsewhere do not seem to struggle with this. It’s just you, fellow Logan travelers, who do it every single time I go to Starbucks before a flight.  Please stop.  If I can help clarify the procedure, please do not hesitate to ask when you find yourself in line behind me.

Sincerely,
Someone who just wants his Grande One-Shot With-Whip Mocha