Genesis 6:11.com?

The front page of the Metro section in this morning’s Boston Globe featured a helpful guide titled How to build an ark.  The introduction reads:

We’re in the worst recession of most people’s lifetime, and in the midst of the worst stretch of summer weather that anyone can remember. Have things reached biblical proportions? Maybe not, but just in case, we thought it might help to provide instructions on how to build an ark.

The print version features a beautiful infographic that’s partially reproduced online.  In both, the attribution line reads:

Source: Genesis 6:11, eHow.com

I can hear the trailer now, voiced by the late Don LaFontaine: “In a world overtaken by water, one man… one ark… and one Internet connection to eHow.com.   In theaters everywhere, July 23rd.”

2 thoughts on “Genesis 6:11.com?”

  1. just pixels says:

    I get a little exasperated with people who deny evolution on the basis of a literal reading of the Bible as unambiguous truth. The Noah’s ark story is one that defies our knowledge of a larger, more diverse biosphere than the ancients could see. The number and variety of species in the world simply would not fit in the ark described in the bible.

    Let me say that I think the Bible contains more truth when it’s not taken literally. My favorite example is Adam eating the forbidden fruit. Literally, he ate some fruit. Figuratively, he ate fruit that made him mortal because Eve had already done so; he would — in Mark Twain’s words — rather die with her than live without her.

    Anyway, those who oppose evolution because the Bible says so should be perfectly willing to accept all the Bible offers in the way of science and physics.

    * No antibiotics, just prayer. (Christian Scientists already believe this.)
    * No predictable orbital mechanics, so no satellite/cable TV.
    * Earth is only 5,000 years old, so dinosaurs roamed unnoticed until they were killed in the flood and their bones embedded in rocks.

    And while we’re at it,
    * biblical marriages were infrequently between just one man and one woman.
    * Sex with children is not forbidden. (Lot has sex with both his daughters, ironically after Sodom is destroyed for its sins. He’s supposedly drunk, but even I’ve never been that drunk.)
    * Sex between women is not specifically forbidden.

    OK, I’ll be out back with the gopherwood.

  2. Ben says:

    In a second-season episode of The West Wing titled The Midterms, President Bartlett illustrates in a fantastic scene the dangers of any literal interpretation of the bible as he chastises a conservative reporter:

    I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?

    While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police?

    Here’s one that’s really important, ’cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean — Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?

    Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

    A literal and uncritical interpretation of any work — fictional, mythological, scientific, or religious — is the birth of ignorance.

    I’m reminded of the economics professor who tells a lie in every class, asking his students to identify it. On days that nobody catches the lie, he simply grins and concludes the lesson, “Ah ha! Each of you has one falsehood in your lecture notes. Discuss amongst yourselves what it might be, and I will tell you next Monday. That is all.”

    To draw from Sorkin again (is anyone shocked), I quote Isaac Jaffe from Sports Night:

    If you feel that strongly about something you have a responsibility to try to change my mind! Did you think I would fire you simply because you made a convincing argument? It’s taken me a lot of years, but I’ve come around to this: if you’re dumb, surround yourself with smart people; and if you’re smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *