Day: September 10, 2008

Do Nothing 3: Do Nothing with a Vengeance

Stephen Colbert interviewed Congressman Lynn Westmoreland on the Colbert Report.

Westmoreland is known best for cosponsoring bills to display the Ten Commandments in the House and Senate, and to allow them to be displayed in courtrooms.  Asked to name them in the interview he gets (and I quote), “don’t murder, don’t lie, don’t steal,” before giving up.

Some would criticize him.  I say: that’s why he wanted them on display in the first place!  How else are they supposed to remember all that cruft about not coveting your neighbor’s wife and honoring your parents?

That aside, this was my favorite exchange:

Colbert:  This has been called a “Do Nothing Congress.”  Is it safe to say you’re the do nothingest?

Westmoreland: Well, there’s one other do nothinger.  I don’t know who that is, but they’re a democrat.  So there’s one democrat do nothinger, one republican.

…

Colbert: Are you even a congressman if you haven’t actually introduced a law?

Westmoreland: I got sworn in with everybody else…

Besides, one doesn’t need to take action to have some brilliant ideas:

Colbert: What can we get rid of to balance the budget?

Westmoreland: Department of Education.

He has a point.  If we didn’t keep trying so hard to educate students, fewer of them would grow up to be responsible members of society, and it would be so much easier to get nothing done!

PoaT+xkcd+www+blog = Fun!

Randall Munroe, creator of xkcd, blogged about the infamous Plane on a Treadmill problem from the perspective of how people interpret the problem differently, and how that leads to chaos in Internet “discussions.”  I enjoy the summary at the end:

So, people who go with interpretation #3 notice immediately that the plane cannot move and keep trying to condescendingly explain to the #2 crowd that nothing they say changes the basic facts of the problem. The #2 crowd is busy explaining to the #3 crowd that planes aren’t driven by their wheels. Of course, this being the internet, there’s also a #4 crowd loudly arguing that even if the plane was able to move, it couldn’t have been what hit the Pentagon.

All in all, it’s a lovely recipe for an internet argument, and it’s been had too many times. So let’s see if we can avoid that. I suggest posting stories about something that happened to you recently, and post nice things about other peoples’ stories. If you’re desperate to tell me that I’m wrong on the internet, don’t bother. I’ve snuck onto the plane into first class with the #5 crowd and we’re busy finding out how many cocktails they’ll serve while we’re waiting for the treadmill to start. God help us if, after the fourth round of drinks, someone brings up the two envelopes paradox.

It somehow reminds me of a great Simpsons quote, as a group of pirates are about to bury some treasure:

Captain, what if, instead of burying the treasure, we use it to buy things? You know, things we like?