Month: April 2008

And Your Bike is Just Like a Subway Car, Only Smaller

A woman ran onto my LIRR train on Saturday, pushing a very young (one year old?) child in a stroller.  She parked the stroller by the window initially, but then suddenly thought better and mentioned – to herself, to her daughter, or to nobody in particular – “I should point her away from the window.  We learned today she does not like trains.”

The little girl played contentedly (or at least quietly – enough that I paid her no attention at all)  as we pulled out of Penn Station and inched forward underground.  Then sure enough, the very moment we emerged into the daylight and she saw the scenery passing by the window she started crying.

“It’s okay, Cindy,” her mother reassured, “it’s just like a subway!  It’s just a subway that’s outside, that’s all.”  The kid actually stopped crying!

I can understand how a kid from anywhere else, accustomed to ordinary trains, might be frightened to go underground, where it’s dark and noisy and scary.  In this world, trains are supposed to run underground, and when they come to the surface something has gone terribly wrong.

I love this city!

Balletomane or Marketing Dartboard? Choose!

Dear Boston Ballet,

You keep sending me postcards inviting me to upcoming performances – Romeo and Juliet, Next Generation, and Swan Lake so far this year.  “Buy your ticket today,” you encourage me.  That’s so thoughtful!  You assume since I’ve attended performances in the past I might again in the future, and remind me in case I’ve forgotten to get tickets.

However,  you have failed to consider that people who have attended performances in the past often do again in the future.  That’s right: the very foundation of your marketing campaign is also its demise.  I already have tickets to all the performances you’re encouraging me to attend.  You could save paper by putting these ads on the backs of the tickets themselves, so after they arrive I can be reminded to buy them.

Or, you could take the time when compiling your mailing list to remove the names of people who already have tickets to the things you’re advertising.  This will keep you from looking stupid.

Sincerely,
Your Patron

Is it “Cozy” and in a “Great Neighborhood” Too?

I was just renewing my lease when I noticed this ad for a new building in Boston:

“Limited time Offer!

“Lease one of our brand-new apartments before March 31st, 2008 and receive up to ONE MONTH FREE! That’s a potential value up to $9,120! So you better hurry, this offer won’t last.”

By getting a single month free the savings are up to $9,120? Is this ad supposed to make me want to live there? I don’t know that much about math, but I’m pretty sure even with the one free month I’d still be spending $100,320 on rent next year. I don’t make $100,320 in a year, so that would be problematic.