I just went to a cardiac health screening here, where they measured my blood pressure, cholesterol, height, and weight.  When I left, they handed me two things:

1. A folder, with information on cholesterol, blood pressure, and other health considerations.
2. A small, unmarked box

I forgot about the box, at first, but now I’ve just opened it.  It’s a carabiner keyring.  Yes, that’s right: to commemorate my completing the cardiac health screening, I got a carabiner keyring.

This makes absolutely no sense at all.  Am I meant to use this to climb to a higher level of cardiac health?  I feel like I now need a mental health screening.  Or somebody else does.