I Believe Two Things

This story appeared today on Yahoo! News:

Can You Hear Me Now?

Wouldn’t an even more impressive story have been about the earlier climber who, after ascending Mount Everest, built a cellular phone tower?

(It was actually a satellite phone, but it’s funnier to think of a cellular tower atop Everest.)

Katie Johnston writes in this morning’s Boston Globe on how Europe’s airport shutdowns in the wake of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano affect Boston:

Travelers’ despair aside, officials are considering the economic impact of the disruptions on Boston. Some are hoping that the loss of business from Marathon spectators who could not get here will be offset by those who can’t get out.

Google generously sponsored free wireless Internet access at 54 airports during last year’s holiday season, including Boston’s Logan International.  This made hectic holiday travel a little more fun, and surely got Google a metric boatload of ad impressions on all the “wireless jail” pages we see when first connecting.

I don’t mind terribly paying for the resources I consume, as a general rule, but the pricing model for Internet access at airports is a terrible fit for most people.  At Logan, the cost was $7.95 for 24 hours of access.  On its face, that’s not bad.  But of course, most people aren’t spending 24 hours in the airport; they’re just checking their e-mail in the one hour buffer surrounding their flight.

Well, good news, citizens of Boston: Massport has arranged to keep the Internet free at Logan — indefinitely!  Unsurprisingly, use of the wireless network grew sixfold during Google’s sponsored access, and Massport is finally ready to continue offering the third basic element of human survival at no cost.  Excellent decision.

Logan Wireless Internet

I love the number of shared libraries that appear in iTunes at the airport.  My favorite selection this time: “Stud Beefpile.”  I didn’t dare look to see what was in that one.

In the Business section of this morning’s Boston Globe is this blurb from the Associated Press:

A New Jersey company says it has developed “the world’s first sex robot,” a life-size rubber doll that’s designed to engage the owner with conversation rather than lifelike movement.

So many punch lines and so little time!  Reading on:

The dark-haired, negligee-clad robot said “I love holding hands with you” when it sensed that its creator touched its hand.  Another action, this one unprintable, elicited a different vocal response from Roxxxy the robot.

Oooh.  Saucy.  Now, talk to us about the “sex” part of “sex robot” a little:

It has sensors at strategic locations and can sense when it’s being moved.  But it can’t move on its own, not even to turn its head or move its lips.

No further questions, your honor.

I don’t know how I missed this back in September (unless it just didn’t make the print edition).  Travis Andersen wrote on boston.com about a new rule at Tufts this semester barring sexual activity in dorms in the presence of roommates.

The policy – which took effect this semester – reads, “You may not engage in sexual activity while your roommate is present in the room. Any sexual activity within your assigned room should not ever deprive your roommate(s) of privacy, study, or sleep time.”

It’s actually a good policy in that it provides an avenue for students victimized by nearby sexual activity to complain and inflict consequences on the perpetrators.  It’s also hilarious.

If nothing else, let’s note that sexual activity deprives at least the participants of privacy (at least between themselves), study time, and sleep time, however respectful they might be of their roommates.

(This came up in a story about Quidditch being played at Tufts.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered that wasn’t even the most unusual story I’d see today.)

The MBTA has published a document titled MBTA ScoreCard.  Acting General Manager William Mitchell writes on the first page:

With this ScoreCard we begin publishing the same performance metrics that we use internally to measure our progress towards meeting our service quality goals.

It’s 25 pages of mostly graphs, covering statistics on ridership, on-time performance, speed restrictions, dropped trips, maintenance, and safety.  Some of the data are woefully uninteresting.  Some are fascinating.

It’s not clear how often we’ll see updated ScoreCards.  The current document is dated “September 2009,” implying a monthly publication, but some of the graphs cover data dating as far back as January, 2004.  Even if this is the only ScoreCard we see, it’s a nice gesture.  Score one for Mr. Mitchell.

Jenn Abelson reports in this morning’s Boston Globe:

Citizens Bank has opened the first ever full-service branch inside a Dunkin’ Donuts shop so consumers can have a one-stop shop for their banking and bakery needs.

I guess my wallet does usually feel a little thin after ordering doughnuts there…

Before watching this video, it helps to know that the child survived with no more damage than a cut on his forehead.  Otherwise, it would be unwatchable.  As it is, it’s a sure way to experience a gut-wrenching feeling of helplessness and despair.

The Herald Sun reports on the Closed Circuit Television footage from a train station in Melbourne, Australia, where we see a child’s pram (that’s “stroller”) roll off the platform when his mother lets go for only a second.

Kudos to the train operator who immediately employed every brake at his disposal to halt the train in just 30 meters.

The lesson: keep the stroller’s brakes on while waiting for a train.  Also: don’t build train platforms that slant inexplicably toward the track so steeply that a motionless stroller can rotate itself and roll completely off the edge before anyone can react.

Reuters reports on Chinese farmer Hao Xianzhang:

“People called me crazy. They said I was whimsical and it was impossible to grow baby-shaped fruits.” said Hao.

Yep.  I’m with people on this one.

Hao successfully grew 18,000 baby-shaped pears (or Buddha-shaped pears, depending on who you ask), and sold almost all of them for $7 apiece, thus adding wealth to his whimsy and craziness — a combination history has taught us to recognize well.

The story goes on:

He also hopes to export his fruit overseas and won’t be limiting himself to babies — Hao said he hopes to cater to Western tastes by growing pears in the shape of Biblical characters and screen legend Charlie Chaplin.

Ohhhh!  They’re pears shaped like Charlie Chaplin.  Now I get it.

(via Kottke)

The Associated Press reported this morning:

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — NASA called off the launch of space shuttle Discovery for a second time yesterday after a critical fuel valve failed to work properly.

Launch officials halted the countdown midway through the fueling process.  The seven astronauts had not yet boarded the shuttle for today’s scheduled early-morning flight to the international space station.

“Drats!” said astronaut Jose Hernandez in a Twitter update.

Drats indeed.  Toto, we’re not in 1969 anymore.