This is one of my all-time favorite things seen on Facebook:
The students who helped raise the most money for Sophie’s school got a limo ride to a pizza lunch party with the principal today. My favorite part of the conversation in the limo went like this:
3rd Grader: I have a girlfriend, and I’m marrying her on Halloween.
1st Grader: I can’t think about that right now.
Kindergtartner: I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
At the Butterfly Pavilion, a class of first graders has just studied the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach and determined through observation that the female is larger than the male.
Teacher: Can anyone think of why the female is bigger?
Student: Because the female is the boy and boys are bigger.
Also, clearly the place is called the Butterfly Pavilion because if they called it the Cockroach, Scorpion, and Tarantula Pavilion That Also Has Butterflies nobody would ever volunteer to chaperone that trip.
Someone in Sophie’s class wrote this and it came home with Sophie by mistake. Here it is, with spelling corrected but otherwise unaltered:
Dad said we have a new baby and she’s coming home today. I got out my doll and bat and all my favorite games to show to the baby. I found my favorite picture book. I read it out loud to the baby. But the baby didn’t pay any attention to me.
That honestly may be the greatest story I’ve ever read.
A girl sitting near us recently challenged her family with some arithmetic problems. Here’s one she tried:
Girl: What’s 9,000 plus 1,000?
Boy: A million.
Boy: Nine thousand plus one thousand is ten thousand.
Boy: That’s also called a million.
Dad: Oh, right.
This sounds mediocre, but is in fact just excellent. Adam Ladd showed his daughter some well-known logos (Pepsi, McDonald’s, Starbucks, Nike) and recorded her description of them. Any kindergartner would probably give similar responses, and that’s precisely what’s interesting here.
Some she can name on sight (“that is the Disney”), some she recognizes but can’t name (“that is the coffee logo”), and others just get cute descriptions (“outside space — it looks like a shooting star with a planet”).
As much as adults protest that advertising must be a waste of money because nobody wants to read it, this sure suggests branding works.
At the grocery store:
Dude, you should go out with her. You’re the only person I know who doesn’t want to punch her in the face.
From an online discussion pertaining to today’s middle school geometry homework:
I can’t seem to draw anything that ends in “agon”
I assume that means the assorted “angle” and “ircle” shapes proved easier.
As a second grade class filed into the cafeteria at Sophie’s school, I heard the tail end of this conversation:
Kid: See? I told you I could prove I don’t like you!
I’m glad they’re teaching the scientific method!
While we were visiting Sam’s relative in the hospital a technician ran a routine test on her heart. With some electrical leads attached to what was essentially a large laptop, he uttered the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever heard:
This may feel strange. I’m going to increase your heart rate just for a second.
We apparently live in a world where that is a routine thing to say.