13. April 2008 by Ben.

People have gotten dumber since the last time I tried buying tickets on eBay.

Take, for instance, lmhjnd, who lists an item as “Jerry Seinfeld Tickets - FRONT ROW” and then admits they’re really in row P.  Row P.  Row P is behind an aisle… and twenty other rows.  Awesome.

My favorite so far, though, is akillie, who offers two Orchestra tickets in an auction that ends 2.5 hours after the show starts.  Which is basically when the show is over.  You really haven’t thought this through at all.

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13. April 2008 by Ben.

“Mom?” “Yes.” “Nothing.”

“What is it, baby?” “Well, it’s just that wouldn’t it be great if mattresses had spaces for your arm, so that when you rolled onto your side, you could fit just right?” “That would be nice.” “And good for your back, probably, because it would let your spine be straight, which I know is important.” “That is important.” “Also, it would make snuggling easier. You know how that arm constantly gets in the way?” “I do.” “And making snuggling easier is important.” “Very.”

– Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

This, of course, is drawn out in xkcd.

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