Can’t Wait for the Third Time

Actual verbatim report (unedited and unabridged) that a sixth grader wrote documenting his misbehavior after he was sent to the office for stealing:

“The first time I stole her candy,  I gave it back.  The second time I stole her candy, I ate it.”

Who’s This “Spot” Character?

I went to see Boston Ballet perform “Romeo and Juliet.” Beside me sat a father taking his daughter to the show.

Guy: “What’s this story about?”
Daughter: “I don’t know.”

This doesn’t bode well for society. I could see if it were some obscure ballet you have to see to understand, but surely at some point in your education somebody mentioned “Romeo and Juliet” once, neh?

I Can Name that Donna in Three Words

Two things on television (as portrayed by my computer) made me happy today.

  1. “House” is back, with a brand new episode
  2. Ms. Janel Moloney, of Donnatella Moss fame, is the patient

“It seems that quite a few of you, for instance, like how Dan and I dress on the air, and you should know that we’re dressed by Maurine Gates and Joseph Revetto (sp?).  Maurine and Joseph are assisted by a young woman named Monica Brazelton, and Monica is not to be trifled with.” – Sports Night, 1:11.

How to Get Dumped in One Easy Step

Here is an actual e-mail I just received from a popular web hosting provider.

“… Want to give your sweetheart something creative this Valentine’s Day?”

Stop right there.  Just stop.   Do not even think of going on to suggest that I should get my hypothetical sweetheart a nice web hosting package for Valentine’s Day.