Whereas I Only Comprehend It

Teacher: “You are supposed to be doing a packet, not dismantling your pen.”

Student: “But I’m not dismantling it – I’m taking it apart!”

Teacher: “‘Dismantling’ and ‘taking apart’ are synonyms – they mean the same thing.”

Student: “Yes, but I understand ‘taking apart.'”

– Sixth Grade Interaction

I Didn’t Know Those Words Could Even Go Together

“Sophie! Do not eat the can opener!”

Actual verbatim report (unedited and unabridged) that a sixth grader wrote documenting his misbehavior after he was sent to the office for stealing:

“The first time I stole her candy, I gave it back. The second time I stole her candy, I ate it.”