How to Get Dumped in One Easy Step

Here is an actual e-mail I just received from a popular web hosting provider.

“… Want to give your sweetheart something creative this Valentine’s Day?”

Stop right there.  Just stop.   Do not even think of going on to suggest that I should get my hypothetical sweetheart a nice web hosting package for Valentine’s Day.

Well *I* Sure Don’t Know

Ira Glass: “From WBEZ Chicago, it’s This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International. To explain the idea for this week’s radio show I need to tell you about this date one of the producers of our show, Jane Feltes, went on recently.”

Jane Feltes: “He would use these arguments like, ‘He went to BU.’ I don’t know what… is that Boston University?”

Ira Glass: “Yeah.”

Jane Feltes: “Is that a good school?”

Ira Glass: “I don’t know.”

Jane Feltes: “I don’t know either.”

Never Date a Client?

Dear Google,

When a client sends me an e-mail canceling a scheduled requirements-gathering meeting and recommending a new date, the following is not considered a relevant or appropriate ad to put at the top of the page:

“How To Get Her Back – GetYourExGirlfriendBack.com – Get Her Back Fast – Proven Approach She Can’t Resist.”

Sincerely,

Capable of Scheduling Meetings in Boston

Role Model

From our course descriptions:

“Explores the way various cultures shape the lives and social development of children. Topics include cultural concepts of childhood; the acquisition of culture; socialization and moral development; cognition, emotion, and behavior in childhood; children’s language and play; and the cultural shaping of personality. Hefner. 4 either sem.”

An Honest Crook

Guy:  “I don’t break the law.  If I do, it’s for good reason.”

Cop:  “What kind of reason would it be for?”

Guy:  “I don’t know, probably steal somebody’s guns that ain’t police officers.”

Cop:  “So you steal people’s guns?”

Guy:  “Yeah, I do that a lot!”

– Cops