Self Checkout and I have always gotten along – I scan things and it beeps at me – until our little tiff today.  I scanned a bag of shredded carrots, and it told me it had no Earthly idea what it was, and that help was on its way.  I called over the supervisor.

Her: Do you remember how much this costs?
Me: Sorry, I have no idea.
Her: That’s the only way I could enter it.

Me: Oh, that’s not a problem; I’ll just get them next time.  Thank you.
Her: Well, how much do you want to pay for them?

Sweet!  Uhh… $5!  No, no, wait… $2!  No, hang on, I’ve got it… 50¢!

Somehow this reminds me of the famous Seinfeld episode where Kramer starts taking Moviefone calls.

Kramer: Using your touch-tone keypad, please enter the first three letters of the movie title now.
*beep beep beep*

You’ve selected Agent Zero.  If that’s correct, press one.  (silent pause) You’ve selected Brown Eyed Girl.  If this is correct, press one.  (silent pause) Why don’t you just tell me the name of the movie you selected?

(Looking online after the fact, Peapod lists store-brand carrots for less than I actually paid, but I bought a name brand, so I probably got it about right.)