Supposedly an actual message from a school answering machine:
File this under “if it’s not real, it should be”.
Month: December 2011
Extra! Extra! Read All About It!
Sophie at dinner:
If this were in the newspaper, it would say, “The silliest family in the world is the Fensters. They have a dad, a mom, and a daughter. The daughter is the silliest, then the dad… no, then the mom, then the dad. And if you want to visit them, they’re in (Our Neighborhood), (Our Street), (Our House Number).”
And if people read that, they’d keep the newspaper forever.
I’m a Millionaire
Fidelity announced some enhancements to its website and published this helpful diagram to illustrate them. If I’m reading this correctly, the most significant change is that I now have $1,148,150.96 in my account.
Fidelity's Enhanced Portfolio Positions Page
I have to go shopping now.
If You’re Angry and You Know It
Sophie threw her first full-scale temper tantrum as a first grader today, with the requisite tears and screaming, shutting herself in her room, threatening not to come down to dinner unless we met her terms, screaming “I’M SORRY!” in her angriest voice, and other general unpleasantness.
When she finally calmed down, I sent her upstairs to get ready for bed. And she skipped up the stairs singing, to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It”:
If you’re angry and you know it, throw a tantrum.
If you’re angry and you know it, throw a tantrum.