Returning from my first trip to Las Vegas, I can now make several important observations.  The second is this:

Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, Pay to See CSI: The Experience

We visited the MGM Grand briefly specifically so we could see CSI: The Experience.  Note that I do not offer a link to the attraction’s website, to prevent someone inadvertently buying a ticket.

The description on the MGM Grand’s website reads:

Play the role of a crime scene investigator in this exciting interactive challenge: 3 murders, 15 lab stations, 15 suspects, 3 killers.  Examine bullet casings, match DNA to potential suspects, identify the source of a single strand of hair as you complete the investigation process.  Complete with two state-of-the-art forensic crime labs and dazzling special effects, this new hands-on experience is sure to plunge guests deep into the heart of the action.

Let’s set the record straight.  First of all, you only get to work on one murder, not three.  After choosing which one, you’ll get to study the crime scene — a hands-off mock-up with no human interaction. We took copious notes, as instructed, drawing every detail of the scene on our clipboards in elaborate detail.

Then you’ll proceed to the “state-of-the-art crime lab.”  Most of the stations there were computer touch screens, which stepped through the appropriate analysis by asking us to press “Next” repeatedly.  A few were hands-on activities highly reminiscent of a children’s museum.  At one, for example, we could pick up tire tread impressions, looking for a match against a steel cast taken from the scene.  Only one was remotely close.

At each station, visitors are asked to fill in answers on a worksheet.  My favorite question was this, pertaining to the autopsy:

Toxicology strongly suggests she was _____ before she was run over.

It’s a fill-in-the-blank question!  How quaint!  To answer it, listen to the coroner deliver his report in a video.  At the end, he says (verbatim, filling in the blank):

Toxicology strongly suggests she was dead before she was run over.

The experience costs $30 per person — as much as cheap seats at a lot of the major shows.

Based on the description, I expected something more like Operation: Spy at the International Spy Museum in Washington DC.  The setup there is similar: you’re a spy, tracking clues on an important case overseas.

Operation: Spy, by contrast, is highly interactive.  Visitors start by rushing into a dark tunnel and overloading a security system by systematically arranging a series of fuses.  The handlers offer no guidance, and visitors can’t move on until the task is complete.

At one point we riffled through the drawers in a diplomat’s office looking for secret documents, taking care not to disturb the room and thus risk getting caught.  We then fled into a truck which, through the magic of motion simulation, drove us to a  different location.  En route, we administered a polygraph test, asking a subject direct yes/no questions (entirely of our choosing) by video phone.

Tickets to that experience — which was very entertaining — are only $16 per person.

For shame, MGM.