I happened to open our Parking Enforcement database this afternoon, and the notes field for the first record that came up read, in its entirety (and with quote marks as shown):
“Why can’t I just get a warning?”
“You were [parked illegally here] on 2 separate occasions”
“No I wasn’t”
“I placed them on your car myself”
“Oh.”
It’s like a great short story.
A couple years ago, I went with a friend to Wildcat Mountain in New Hampshire, which offers visitors the unusual opportunity to leap from a mountaintop, suspended from a zip line, soar through thin air (and in my case, a stiff breeze) down the mountain, and then bounce off a tension spring at the bottom. Staff at the time said everyone reaching the bottom laughs aloud upon hitting that spring, and we were no exception.
I notice, however, that the residents of Los Pinos, Columbia aren’t laughing when they invoke a similar zip line suspended 1,200 feet over a river as part of their daily commute.
(via Kottke)
I enjoyed this query listing permits for a new application called, generically, “vote.”
[bobbojones@production aeacus] > SELECT * FROM permit WHERE application='vote'; +-------------+------------+-----------+----------------------+----------------+ | application | privilege | principal | principal_type | subapplication | +-------------+------------+-----------+----------------------+----------------+ | vote | vote | voter | vote:voter | | +-------------+------------+-----------+----------------------+----------------+
I’m reminded first of when xkcd’s blag depicted “Wikipedia’s entry on blogs, with everything that is not the word ‘blog’ (or a derivative thereof) removed.”
I’m then reminded of a line of my own code from about five years ago that went something like:
$param = $this->_params[$params['param']];
(In my defense, I saw the absurdity immediately and renamed some variables, so the verbatim line is now lost to us, but its spirit remains.)
About 45 minutes ago, I opened a new browser window to see if any cheap tickets are available for my trip this summer. Let’s examine what tabs are open in that window now (click the image to see the full-size, unedited screen capture):
To review, those tabs are:
I seem to have wandered off a bit there, like in the classic xkcd comic on the subject. Moreover, upon returning to the Kayak tab after all that, I see that I never even entered my search terms, so I still have no idea how much airfare will be, and now I really have to get back to work.
Since I’m currently working on a new application for our help desk, we’ve been evaluating features in other, existing applications. We considered, among others, a hosted solution called “Service Now.”
Immediately after logging into the demo site, we saw this traumatizing departure from any known laws of graphic design:
Pie Chart à la Awful
Someone has evidently decided that since 3D pie charts are known to distort human perception of data, what will really make them useful is a layer of translucency.
Since I’m writing new software for our help desk, I find myself reading nearly every question we get. Some are routine, some are rude, some are perplexing, and some are just hilarious. Regarding the website for an online class:
[T]he video for homework 3, question 7 does not appear to be a full video. The video opens with all kinds of things written on the board and begins with the professor saying, “So the answer will be…”
Maybe that’s just the professor’s way of getting straight to the point!
Quoth a colleague:
Please keep your hands, arms, and thinking inside the box.
Overheard in the office (with no evident context):
It’s no work to shut systems off.
I’m sure it’s quite easy, but could you refrain anyway? I rather prefer when our systems are running normally.
