Month: January 2009

Why I Have No Self-Control

Jonah Lehrer writes in the Ideas section of this morning’s Boston Globe:

Now scientists have begun to examine how the city affects the brain, and the results are chastening.  Just being in an urban environment, they have found, impairs our basic mental processes.  After spending a few minutes on a crowded city street, the brain is less able to hold things in memory, and suffers from reduced self-control.

This is particularly relvant to me because… wait… hang on, there was a reason… I just can’t remember it right now.

(Actually, the remedy Mr. Lehrer describes is to have more access to nature, even if it’s a view of trees from your window. So I’ll be needing a different excuse for poor memory and self-control.)

The Bag Will Not Fully Inflate

My elevator control panel includes these four “special” buttons:

  • “Call Cancel”
  • A graphic of a fire fighter’s helmet
  • “Alarm”
  • A graphic of a telephone

In an emergency, which should I use?  We can probably rule out the first, but the other three all sound like good choices.  I’d likely just press them all at once, so why bother installing three separate choices?

Surely the panel designers could tell us when each button is meant to be used individually, but unfortunately the elevator-riding public has not received training on these situations.  We know how to select our destination floor, but after that we really stop caring about elevator control panel operations.

No Comment

In the past couple years I’ve sensed a trend toward news reports telling us that some party in the story could not be reached for comment.  We’ve always heard the phrase “no comment” in the news, but lately I’ve seen more phrases like “did not return calls seeking comment” and “could not be reached.”

I may just be noticing this for the first time, or it may really be a trend in this direction.  (Reporters being more specific?  Trying not to bother people more than necessary to print the story?  Perhaps people just have an easier time avoiding the press in an era of cell phones and caller ID.)

Either way, this seems to be the pinnacle (for now) of this type of remark, from the Daily Briefing section of this morning’s Boston Globe:

A 22-year-old man with cerebral palsy was left on a school bus by a driver on New Year’s Eve and spent the entire frigid night alone.

…

Calls to a possible number for the bus company were picked up by an answering machine that would not accept messages.

Wow.  Calls to a possible number were picked up by an answering machine that wouldn’t accept messages.

Best Invention Since… Uhh… Never Mind

Most people who know me are aware I have groceries delivered through Peapod.  Some envy me for it; some mock me for it.  The latter group will enjoy this story more.

One disadvantage of ordering online is that compensating for what’s out of stock is harder.  If I see the Diet Coke shelf is empty, I’ll happily substitute Diet Pepsi.  If I ordered four different cereals, though, and Rice Krispies is out of stock, I’ll just abandon the Rice Krispies that day.  Peapod offers options to indicate these preferences, but there appears to be a kink in the system.

Here’s a selection from my grocery list this evening.  See if you can spot anything problematic:

  • $5.32 Alpine Lace Deli Cheese Swiss
  • $6.11 Boar’s Head Deli Ham Maple Glazed Honey Coat
  • $4.07 Stop & Shop Deli Turkey Breast (Thin Sliced)
  • $2.99 Hellmann’s Mayonnaise
  • $1.99 Iceberg Lettuce
  • $3.79 Ruffles Potato Chips Original
  • $3.00 Country Kitchen Bread Wheat OUT OF STOCK (Delivered 0 of 1)

Blërg!

They omitted the only item on that list that completely derails my sandwich-making plans!  I could make a sandwich without turkey, or even without lettuce, but without bread… that would be chaos.

She Came From the North

The first news of 2009: a baby girl named Sasha was born on Northwest Airlines Flight 59 from Amsterdam to Boston.  The story starts out very pleasant:

“Everybody was there to help,” said [Dr. Natarajan] Raman, who helped deliver the child.  “People offered baby food, people brought things, people vacated their seats.”

Then it throws out this whopper:

Customs officials deemed [baby] Sasha a Canadian citizen, because she was born over Canadian airspace.  The flight landed about 45 minutes after the birth.

Well that’s a doozy.  If she’d waited another 10 or 15 minutes the kid would probably have been born in the United States.  Now she’ll be the only girl in her class whose nationality depended on the Global Positioning System, a radio, and a stopwatch.  You know she’ll never live that down.

Anybody else remember the West Wing episode where Donna finds herself suddenly Canadian?

Donna:  I’m very upset. I don’t know the words to my national anthem. I’ve been throwing out Canadian pennies my whole life. I’ve been making fun of the Queen. We don’t do that.