My personal award for most awkward telemarketing tactics has lately been going exclusively to the Boston Ballet.  I love them artistically, but administratively they struggle with the idea that they do not need to encourage me to buy a subscription when I already have one.  At one point last year I fielded two calls in the same day from their marketers, both of whom were entirely taken aback at my assurances that I had already paid for my subscription to the upcoming season.

This week, the Boston Pops has surpassed the Ballet to receive my highly exclusive award.

They’ve been calling a lot in the last few weeks, but through the marvel of modern technology I’ve been quietly ignoring them.  Tonight, I had a message waiting for me when I got home.

I here use the word “message” more loosely than perhaps one normally would.  I had, rather, an audio recording of what it’s like inside the Pops’ call center when a marketer thinks he has hung up but, in fact, has not.

Enthralled, and wondering how long it could possibly go on, I let play a couple minutes of Mr. Telemarkter flirting with Ms. Telemarketer regarding her upcoming vacation (during which she will be visiting Canada), before giving up and deleting the message.

The Oscar for “most awkward telemarketing tactics” is yours, good sir.  I congratulate you.  (And I still won’t be answering your call tomorrow.)