From Cops:
Officer: You’re going to jail for “Obstructing a Peace Officer”
Suspect: Obstructing a Peace Officer?Officer: Yeah. We gave you commands and you ignored them.
Suspect: If you would have asked me, I would have opened the door and I wouldn’t obstruct nothing.Officer: Do you know what obstructing means?
Suspect: No.
An increasing number of exchanges I hear remind me of the “dismantling your pen” incident. And that involved a student in the sixth grade.
Dear Medical Science,
Please explain why receiving a hypodermic injection rates lower on the pain scale than removing the Band-Aid placed after the injection. I admit it’s not a big difference – the needle is a flat zero, while the Band-Aid pulls a one or maybe up to a 2 in some cases – but it’s measurable.
In the interest of full disclosure I should probably reveal that I once required general anesthesia to remove a Band-Aid as a child. Okay, technically I was receiving general anesthesia for unrelated and more traditional medical reasons, and my parents just asked the doctors to remove the Band-Aid at the time, but the fact remains I refused all efforts to remove it until I was unconscious and fully sedated.
Medicine has seen many important advances in my lifetime, and I have every confidence that you can make peeling off a bit of adhesive hurt no more than piercing one’s skin with a steel needle.
Please look into this.
Sincerely,
Not Going to Get the Flu This Year
P.S. It is not permissible to solve this problem by making the injection hurt more. Make the Band-Aid hurt less.
P.P.S. For all practical intents and purposes I got the flu anyway. Sure, I didn’t have the classic sinus problems or chills, but I was still exhausted and feverish all day. It’s a very strange sensation to feel your body fighting a perceived illness that has absolutely no outward effects. Come to think of it, this has all the benefits of staying in bed all day watching television with none of the disadvantages of sneezing and taking medication!