Dear Netflix,
The front of the return envelope you sent me reads:
Nearest Netflix Shipping Facility
PO Box 6005
Columbia, MO 65205-6005
I am not in Missouri. I am, in fact, more than 1,000 miles away from Columbia, MO. Google estimates it would take 20 hours, 29 minutes to drive from there to here.
I understand that movies must sometimes be shipped from a different facility when they’re unavailable near me. I’m not sure, however, that it can still qualify as the “nearest” facility.
If you’re not going to have us return movies to the nearest center, now would be a good time to relabel your envelopes.
Sincerely,
A guy who owns a map
Don’t say Netflix is wrong! Netflix is always right. Always. He didn’t mean it Netflix; he was just being a silly billy. OK? OK?