Some people bemoan not having a date on Valentine’s Day.
Then there’s the woman who collects bottles from recycling bins on the streets of Brighton, who today acquired an unwanted companion… who kept stealing her reclaimed bottles.
There. I bet nobody’s sad about not having shoes now, are they.
“OooOOOOop, OoooOOOOop, OooOOOOop! Attention please! The signal tone you have just heard indicates a report of an emergency in this building. If the evacuation alarm on your floor follows this message, leave the building immediately. Occupants on other floors, remain where you are, and await further instructions.”
And then… silence.
So on the one hand, I’m in a burning building. But on the other hand, my floor isn’t on fire, so nothing can possibly go wrong.
For the record, as much as I trust the judgment of trained firefighters, watching them uncoil hoses and raise a ladder way the heck up the side of my building while I watch from my balcony, which I’ve been told not to leave, does not instill me with a great sense of comfort and safety.
This also reminds me of the Friends episode “The One With the Candy Hearts” where firemen tell the girls, “This isn’t the first boyfriend bonfire that we’ve seen get out of control. You’re our third call tonight. Valentine’s Day is our busiest night of the year.”
The following occurred at 10:21 this morning. Identifying details have been changed to protect the innocent.
> SELECT …;
10 rows in set (22.95 sec)
> DESCRIBE …;
+------------+---------+------+-----+---------+-------+
| Field | Type | Null | Key | Default | Extra |
+------------+---------+------+-----+---------+-------+
| ... | int(11) | YES | | NULL | |
| ... | int(11) | YES | | NULL | |
+------------+---------+------+-----+---------+-------+
2 rows in set (0.01 sec)
> ALTER TABLE … ADD PRIMARY KEY (…);
Query OK, 784 rows affected (0.43 sec)
Records: 784 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0
> SELECT …;
10 rows in set (0.09 sec)