When I first signed up with Zipcar they had cars parked literally right next to my building. Then they got rid of those.

So I switched to driving the Prius that’s actually a bit of a walk, but, hey, it’s a Prius.

Now I went to reserve it… and it’s not there anymore. It’s been replaced by a Honda Civic – a model that’s already parked about half the distance from here. That doesn’t seem entirely fair.

I approve of relocating cars to where they’re more useful. I just don’t approve of relocating them, ya know, away from me.

My building is well insulated against sound traveling between apartments. I once was able to hear some muffled music from up the hall, but it’s been otherwise silent (barring people actually hammering pictures up on the wall when they move in).

Sound from the hallway, though, permeates my front door like water through air. I’ve heard many cell phone conversations conducted there. I’ve heard the neighbors’ loud parties getting broken up (but not the parties themselves). I’ve possibly even heard the comings and goings of criminals back when there were criminals living across from me.

This is why it’s of some concern that my neighbors have not yet deciphered the great mysteries of the modern key.

Since they moved in I keep hearing knocking from across the hall, growing more and more intense over time, with added shouting and cursing occasionally. See, it seems the people who come most frequently to this apartment either do not carry or do not know how to use… keys.

So for anyone else out there who still has not mastered the concept, please understand: there exist bits of metal that are capable of opening locked doors. You can get them from your landlord, usually for no extra cost – they just come free right there with your lease.