I Believe Two Things

At the grocery store:

Dude, you should go out with her. You’re the only person I know who doesn’t want to punch her in the face.

From an online discussion pertaining to today’s middle school geometry homework:

I can’t seem to draw anything that ends in “agon”

I assume that means the assorted “angle” and “ircle” shapes proved easier.

As a second grade class filed into the cafeteria at Sophie’s school, I heard the tail end of this conversation:

Kid: See? I told you I could prove I don’t like you!

I’m glad they’re teaching the scientific method!

Overheard from a child about nine years old:

I’m never going to drive a car because I’m never going to take the test. I don’t like tests. … Except the tests we take at schol; I like those.

I guess my main question is: what other tests have you been taking?

Overheard at the Dollar Tree:

Employee: (to manager) I’m going to need some ones.

Really? That isn’t the sort of problem that’ll just sort itself out if you let a couple more people checkout? Ya know… ’cause it’s the dollar store?

The scene: at our local dance studio, a pair of teenage boys lingers outside the social space / changing and storage area as some girls block the entrance. Eventually we hear:

Some Girl: Walk away, Chris. They’re naked.

What some of you may already know is that telling a teenage boy that there are naked girls nearby virtually guarantees that he won’t walk away. In fact, I’m half surprised the pair didn’t immediately repel down a ventilation duct from the roof just to get around the blockaded entryway.

Overheard:

Non-Parent Adult: If you want to get that, it will cost $25.

12-Year-Old: Are you serious? That’s two allowances plus a full report card of A’s!

I wish my life worked like that. “Hi, I’ll have a grande mocha and a classic coffee cake, please. Here’s my report card with one A and a C to cover the cost.”

A colleague just returned to work today after the birth of his son. He described the process of learning what different cries mean:

It’s like learning a new language while sleep deprived and while the person teaching it to you is yelling at you.

Overheard in the office:

About-to-Retire Staff Member: Are they serving alcohol?

Conversation at work today:

Colleague:  I have stories to tell about Cleveland!
Me: Does it rock?
Colleague: It does not.

That about covers it.