• Overheard 07.12.2009 1 Comment

    A colleague just returned to work today after the birth of his son. He described the process of learning what different cries mean:

    It’s like learning a new language while sleep deprived and while the person teaching it to you is yelling at you.

  • Overheard 13.11.2009 1 Comment

    Overheard in the office:

    About-to-Retire Staff Member: Are they serving alcohol?

  • Overheard 12.11.2009 1 Comment

    Conversation at work today:

    Colleague:  I have stories to tell about Cleveland!
    Me: Does it rock?
    Colleague: It does not.

    That about covers it.

  • Overheard 10.09.2009 1 Comment

    I heard this angry exchange between two women as I got on the T:

    First Woman: I work hard for a living!  I work (expletive) hard to make money!  Don’t you get that?

    Second Woman: Look, all I’m saying is: I don’t know anybody named John.

    I can’t imagine how these two could possibly have been having the same argument. It reminds me of a Louis C K routine about arguing:

    I decided that I’m gonna argue with this guy, but I’m gonna argue about something else. I’m not having his argument; I’m having mine. So, he’s like, “Go!” And I go, “Well give me back my jacket!” And he stopped. I was like, “Yeah, you got my jacket! Give it back! I said you could borrow it, not have it!”

    (And now, as a result of this post, Google has “comedian stole my jacket” in my permanent search history.)

  • Overheard 23.08.2009 No Comments

    Overheard at Star Market yesterday:

    Customer:  Do you have a paper cutter?

    High School Student Clerk: (annoyed) What, like, scissors?

    Although I’m disappointed in an education system that’s left a high school student unaware of what a “paper cutter” is, I should perhaps be giving her the benefit of the doubt.  Random House defines it as:

    n. any device for cutting or trimming paper…

    (She gave the guy some scissors, which he reluctantly accepted.)

  • Overheard 20.08.2009 1 Comment

    Heard at lunch:

    I think I would be a great form of torture.

  • Overheard 04.06.2009 1 Comment

    Quoth a colleague:

    Please keep your hands, arms, and thinking inside the box.

  • Overheard 16.05.2009 1 Comment

    Said a colleague to a gathering of men in the office:

    You’re not girls.  You don’t know what high school was like.

  • Overheard 11.05.2009 1 Comment

    I had my teeth cleaned this morning.  I learned that my teeth are still in excellent health, but on my way out I overheard another patient getting this news:

    I’d like to send a photograph of this to use in our classes, ’cause what I’m seeing here is… well, come over here and take a look.

    Any condition that’s so unusual they need to show all their students while they have the chance can’t be a lot of fun.

  • Overheard 07.05.2009 1 Comment

    Overheard at lunch:

    I haven’t been the same since my mom gave me the dog’s arthritis medicine.