Concluding the mini-series of quotes from my nieces, we have these three from just this weekend.
Jess: (contemplative) “I want to paint my nails. (beat) Do you want to paint my nails?”
Jess: We should make a scrapbook together!
Rachel: (enthusiastic) Ooh, yeah! (suddenly accusatory) Maybe when you give me my scrapbook stuff back!
Jess: (hopefully) “Can I have all your mints? And you can’t have any of mine, in case you were wondering.”
Then, when I could no longer bear to let these gems (many of which remain unprinted) fly about the room without someone writing them down, I went to get my computer. This prompted:
Jess: Wait, what’s a blog?
I never did come up with an answer.
Jessica (author of the best retort ever uttered) has always had a sarcastic streak. At the age of about four, she sat down to lunch with her sister Rachel – Jess with a plate of bite-size hot dog pieces, and Rachel, who hated hot dogs, with a bowl of vegetable soup.
Having two different meals apparently prompted a moment of confusion.
Jess: Whatcha got there? Vegetable soup?
Jessica contemplated this a moment, took another bite of hot dog, and then dumped the rest of her plate into her sister’s bowl of soup.
Jess: Whatcha got now? Hot dog soup?
A few years ago we went to see the Fourth of July fireworks at Lake Champlain – held every year on the third of July.
Some people arrive early in the evening and claim space on the grass with their blankets and picnic baskets, but we chose to walk around and get ice cream and enjoy the atmosphere. We found a row of people standing at a railing just before the fireworks began, and joined them.
Immediately a delegate from the lawn squatters behind us approached and suggested – all but insisted – we might want to sit when the fireworks started. Gesturing at the people around us we suggested there’d be little chance of that. Besides, it’s not like we’d be blocking the view of the sky.
We heard her report back, quietly, “They’re not gonna move.” A woman immediately shouted up to us – me, my brother, his daughter, and our two nieces, all clumped together – “Maybe some day you’ll have kids and then you’ll understand.”
Without missing a beat, my niece Jessica whipped around and shouted back, “What are we, the next door neighbors?”
With that, I introduce a mini-series of quotes from my nieces, and from Jessica in particular.