When a shoe store in Longmont, Colorado closed, another neighborhood business took advantage of the opportunity with some hastily written signs taped to the door of the empty storefront:
Phelps Shoe Repair
“Well, I did want new shoes, but I guess I can settle for a repair. Ring it up!”
In preparing some graphs of how well our help desk is performing, I needed to assign colors to various services we support. Naturally, I posed to my colleagues this question: “What color is WordPress?”
One determined the answer scientifically:
Color of Wordpress
So today’s contribution to science: the color of WordPress is baby blue.
I just bought a package of store brand Q-Tips. On the back is this delightful bit of marketing:
MANY USES:
• BABY CARE
• BEAUTY CARE
• HEALTH CARE
• ARTS AND CRAFTS
Somehow “cleaning out your ears” didn’t make the cut.
This is an actual support ticket our help desk received this morning:
I can see and hear everyone in the class. They can hear me. They can not see me.
Wow! Philosophy classes have gotten a lot more intense this year!
(In fairness, this seems to pertain to video in an online class, but absent any formal acknowledgment of that in the ticket, I choose to believe this professor is a ghost.)
Years ago, when Hayley Westenra’s My Gift to You album came out, I was unable to acquire a copy, on account of it having been released only in New Zealand, and further on account of me not living at the time in New Zealand.
Now, I’ve paid a return visit to eBay where I see I can not only buy a copy, but can get it on sale! For more money! Wait…
A New Type of Sale?
I have no objection at all to paying that price, of course. It’s just not particularly good marketing in the eBay listing. Earlier this year, one of the 70 copies of her very first CD sold on eBay for over $3,000 (says Wikipedia — and for once I believe it, since if I had $3,000 to spend on a CD, that’s the one I’d choose), so an extra $7.36 is, in fact, quite a bargain.
I love Coolidge Corner in Brookline. Let’s consider just a few things I experienced there this evening:
How Windows Work
Dear Guy in T-Mobile Store,
The enormous plate glass window separating the store from a very busy intersection is, as most windows are, transparent. When you walk directly up to it and start picking your nose, many people will see you, very few of whom will have wanted to.
I believe the device you thought you were using is a door, which, when closed, is typically opaque.
Sincerely,
Passer-by who was just minding his own business
I’ll See You in Court
Overheard from someone passing with a cell phone, in the tone one uses with a hostile witness in a courtroom:
Did she or didn’t she sleep with Jacob on Wednesday?
The Outcast
A boy and his father were shopping for another child’s birthday present. The boy recommended a particular Bionicle figure, which prompted this conversation:
Father: Do you like Bionicles?
Kid: No.Father: Oh. Well, how do you know he’ll like them?
Kid: Most kids my age like Bionicles. Like, most kids like sweet things like ice cream, but I don’t.
During a discussion this morning about Natalie Dylan’s virginity auction (there’s a phrase I never thought I’d use), we visited the BunnyRanch website to confirm some facts. Naturally, there’s a Frequently Asked Questions section.
Some of these are routine. The first two: “Where is the BunnyRanch located?” and “Which airport do I fly into?” Frequently asked indeed.
Let’s keep reading:
3. Where can I fly my private plane or jet into?
4. Where do I land my helicopter?
When the fourth most frequently asked question is, “Where do I land my helicopter?” (and the answer is, “The Moonlite BunnyRanch has a special landing pad in front just for helicopter uses”), you know you’re looking at an expensive destination.
I also love this question, if only for its fascinating reflection on our society and values:
9. How old do you have to be to visit the BunnyRanch?
You must be at least 18 years old to have sex or 21 years old to have a cocktail at the bar.
The real question now is how much longer we can keep talking about Natalie Dylan and the BunnyRanch before my girlfriend will veto the trip to Vegas we’ve been planning.
Google’s “auto complete” recommendations are getting increasingly absurd, even if they do conform perfectly to real people’s searches.
Today, when I wanted to find a good place to sell my 12-channel audio mixer, I started my search with the word “sell” and Google jumped in with a few ideas for what I might need.
Things People Sell Online
Naturally, “sell textbooks online” and “selling on eBay” are popular search choices. “Sell gold” has also gained popularity recently, to the point that airports and train stations in Germany have vending machines selling gold wafers.
“Sell WoW account” is a bit surprising (perhaps World of Warcraft is losing popularity as people can no longer afford the monthly fee), but it’s “selling virginity” that’s most striking.
Some careful, “strictly business” research suggests much of this searching is related to Natalie Dylan (a pseudonym), a Sacramento State graduate student who last year auctioned her virginity, having allegedly gotten bids up to $3.8 million. Fox News is, of course, outraged.
Local CBS affiliate KOVR-TV quoted Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch where the auction will be held, as saying:
Natalie is a very smart girl. All she wants to do is get her master’s degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist. She’s selling her virginity to accomplish that.
Adding a punchline at this point would only spoil the pure beauty of that statement.
Clients occasionally need to send me screen captures of their browser windows. Sometimes this is for debugging (e.g., so they can show me something that’s broken). Other times, like today, it’s to show me an administrative application that I can’t access myself.
I spent some time today looking through details in some captured pages before the Google Toolbar atop the page caught my eye:
What's really on your mind?
Anyone else find that recent Google query particularly interesting?
This was the fortune in my Chinese food this afternoon:
Enjoyed the meal?
Buy one to go too.
“Marketing Cookies.” Coming soon to a restaurant near you.
