Kingpin

Having loved Firefly so entirely that I’ve watched the entire fourteen-episode run about eight times in a row, I thought I’d try another highly-recommended seven-year-old show with a somewhat longer production run.  I’m speaking, of course, of the five season run of The Wire.

I’m only three episodes in and the jury’s still out, but I already love the star drug dealer’s tutorial on how to play chess:

Now look, check it, it’s simple, it’s simple. See this? This the kingpin. A’ight? And he the man. You get the other dude’s king, you got the game, but he trying to get your king too, so you gotta protect it. Now the king, he move one space any direction he damn choose, ’cause he’s the king. Like this, this, this, a’ight? But he ain’t got no hustle.

This the queen. She smart, she fierce. She move any way she want, as far as she want. And she is the “go get shit done” piece.

I Could Kill You With My Brain

I listened attentively every time someone recommended that I watch Firefly, and then practiced the fine art of procrastination in never watching it. The series ended over six years ago, but I’ve finally caught up now.

Wow!

Among my favorite quotes from the entire fourteen-episode run:

If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell — a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

A close second, from the same episode:

My days of not taking you seriously are sure coming to a middle.

I found Serenity (the followup movie) somewhat underwhelming.  It seemed to seek a plot great enough to commit to the big screen, when the episodic plots of the television show were a far better fit for the characters.

But even if Serenity were entirely lifeless (which it’s not), Firefly would still have been fantastic enough to compensate.  I will now immediately buy my own set of DVDs, and if only someone made a Firefly tee shirt I’d buy that too.

This Post Brought to You Faster by FedEx

FedEx just earned huge points for their commercial on Hulu.  We see what appears to be a FedEx commercial playing, but it’s clearly on fast forward, complete with the wavy lines and faint squealing reminiscent of VCR tapes.  The narrator says:

Instead of our commercial, go ahead and watch your video now.  We understand.  Your time is valuable.

The line reads:

This content brought to you faster by FedEx.

The ad runs for a short ten seconds.  Whether it’s really shorter than usual ads or just feels shorter, FedEx succeeds entirely.

After an unfortunate experience with a particular FedEx agent around Christmas that drove me to their competitors, I will now absolutely be doing my shipping with them, if only to reward them for the brilliant marketing.

Incidentally, it doesn’t appear possible to deliberately watch a commercial over again on Hulu.  Perhaps they didn’t think anyone would ever want to.

Monica vs. The Scrubs

From the voice of “Hey!  Girl’s name!” comes:

JD: So this intern that you mentioned earlier; I’m sure eventually he turned into a pretty amazing doctor, didn’t he?

Dr. Cox: Actually it was a she.

JD: It wasn’t me?

Dr. Cox: No, no.  It was you.  It was you.

Scrubs is back!  (And I’m only three episodes behind, thanks to ABC’s unfortunate policy of making people download completely pointless software to watch videos on their website — a policy that makes us hate them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.  That’s right ABC.  Flash is your friend.)

Apple IS the Future

In the Doctor Who episode Silence in the Library, The Doctor takes Donna to the 51st century where humans have built a library “so big it doesn’t need a name” — an entire planet filled with books.   Throughout the episode, he finds himself checking The Library’s computer system via a terminal that looks suspiciously familiar:

A 51st Century Keyboard

A 51st Century Keyboard

That’s right, it’s Apple’s current model of wireless keyboard, which I was touching with my own hand at the very moment the image came on the screen.  Apple’s design is so flawless that it will last fully 3,000 years.

Cash Cab

I switched on the television briefly this morning and discovered a game show called Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel.

Someone hails an ordinary-looking cab in Manhattan (branded with the Taxi and Limousine Commission markings), announces their destination, and then unexpectedly becomes a contestant.  They win money (starting at $50) for each correct answer to a trivia question.  After three wrong answers, they’re kicked out of the cab wherever they happen to be.

Although I groaned upon seeing the name, the premise is surprisingly appealing upon further consideration, if for no reason other than that cab rides are not otherwise particularly exciting.  It also adds some interesting arbitrary influences into the game that traditional game shows don’t have.

For example, the length of a round depends mostly on where the passengers asked to go — which they did before they knew they were on a game show.  It’s then influenced by traffic density, traffic control, and other road conditions.  For example, when stuck at a red light, contestants might be given a “red light challenge.”

The screening process to find “worthy” contestants (done on most shows) is also eliminated.  Whoever happens to hail the cab is a candidate.  Certainly the producers only pick interesting rounds to air on the show, but that means a lot of people are playing (and even, perhaps, winning) whom we do not see.

On the other hand, having now watched one episode of the show I have no intention of trying to watch any more.  This sounds like an interesting game to play in a taxi, but not a particularly interesting show to watch on television.