19. June 2008 by Ben.

According to the Globe (June 19, 2008) a man back in December 2007 shined a green laser into the cockpit of a police helicopter, forcing the pilot to take evasive action. He was formally charged yesterday. What struck me particularly was the description of the laser:

The laser Sasso is accused of using was classified by the Food and Drug Administration as a Class IIIb laser, which can cause burns, temporary blindness, and distractions, prosecutors said.

“Do you expect me to fly with this thing in my eyes?” “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to get distracted.”

I don’t mean to suggest that shining a laser anywhere near a person’s face is ever acceptable, just that “distractions” are not a particularly potent argument to advance.

Posted in News, Quips | 1 Comment »

13. June 2008 by Ben.

Over Christmas I discovered the joy of traveling from Boston to Burlington by airplane, cutting the trip down to a cool 60 minutes. Then Delta Airlines terminated its contract with Big Sky Airlines, who flew the route, leaving no direct flights to Burlington in my future.

Searching for a replacement, I found flights to Rutland and Plattsburgh on Cape Air. I deemed Plattsburgh viable and started searching for easy ways to get back across the lake. One option recommended was Greyhound:

PLATTSBURGH, NY		12:25am		ADP	0297
RS EXIT 15 DENNYS, NY	02:25am	02:40am	:15	ADP	0297
ALBANY, NY	03:20am			ADP	0297
ALBANY, NY	Transfer	06:00am	2:40	GLI	4184
WORCESTER, MA	08:25am	08:30am	:05	GLI	4184
NEWTON, MA	09:25am	09:25am		GLI	4184
BOSTON, MA	09:45am			GLI	4184
BOSTON, MA	Transfer	02:45pm	5:00	GLI	9143
HANOVER, NH	04:55pm	04:55pm		GLI	9143
WHITE RIVER JCT, VT	05:05pm	05:30pm	:25	GLI	9143
MONTPELIER, VT	06:25pm	06:25pm		GLI	9143
BURLINGTON, VT	07:10pm

…

Blërg!

Posted in Quips | 1 Comment »

6. May 2008 by Ben.

At the risk of sounding like Ralph Wiggum:

It smells like flowers outside.

Perhaps I should go out there more.

Posted in Quips | No Comments »

13. April 2008 by Ben.

People have gotten dumber since the last time I tried buying tickets on eBay.

Take, for instance, lmhjnd, who lists an item as “Jerry Seinfeld Tickets - FRONT ROW” and then admits they’re really in row P.  Row P.  Row P is behind an aisle… and twenty other rows.  Awesome.

My favorite so far, though, is akillie, who offers two Orchestra tickets in an auction that ends 2.5 hours after the show starts.  Which is basically when the show is over.  You really haven’t thought this through at all.

Posted in Anecdotes, Quips | No Comments »

8. April 2008 by Ben.

TIME Magazine listed the top 25 blogs of 2008.  They included Indexed, and described a sample post:  “(Venn diagram) Three circles marked ‘wealth’ ‘comfort’ and ‘privilege’ intersect at ‘ennui’”

It actually says, in writing, “Venn diagram.”  They may be kinda missing the point

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31. March 2008 by Ben.

Reuters reports that after Indonesia’s parliament passed a law criminalizing the transmission of pornography, hackers defaced the information ministry’s website in protest.

Which brings us back to Perry’s Perspective:

“Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry’s Perspective:

“One, if someone’s standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can’t decide what they want in the half-hour it took to get to the register I should be allowed to kill them.

“Two, I’m fairly sure if they took porn off the Internet there’d only be one website left and it’d be called ‘Bring Back the Porn.’ …”

It’s not often we get to scientifically prove something said in a sitcom, but it’s oh so sweet. “This moment is so great I’d cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one, and raise a family of tiny little moments.” (from My Unicorn)

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19. March 2008 by Ben.

“Video Girls BiZ is a website software suite, containing all software required for powering a pay-per-view online videochat business.  This can be used for various paid video chat businesses including adult video chat, online video advice, internet school tutoring…”

Wait, adult video chat and “internet school tutoring” aren’t really just the same thing?

I’ve been duped!

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17. March 2008 by Ben.

From Wikipedia:

Cooties

That’s not true! I cited eminent Cooties researchers from around the world in my account of recent efforts to cure the disease!

Posted in Quotes, Quips | 1 Comment »

27. February 2008 by Ben.

[bobbojones@PRODUCTION calendar] > select * from nodes limit 1;
+----+-----------+-----------------------------+
| id | name | description |
+----+-----------+-----------------------------+
| 35 | Snausages | Usually served in a blanket |
+----+-----------+-----------------------------+
1 row in set (0.00 sec)


I’m not sure I want to know.

Posted in Programming, Quips | 1 Comment »

26. February 2008 by Ben.

[bobbojones@software bin]$ less /.../cronstart.software
WARNING: terminal is not fully functional

Posted in Programming, Quips | No Comments »