• Boston, News 23.10.2009 No Comments

    The MBTA has published a document titled MBTA ScoreCard.  Acting General Manager William Mitchell writes on the first page:

    With this ScoreCard we begin publishing the same performance metrics that we use internally to measure our progress towards meeting our service quality goals.

    It’s 25 pages of mostly graphs, covering statistics on ridership, on-time performance, speed restrictions, dropped trips, maintenance, and safety.  Some of the data are woefully uninteresting.  Some are fascinating.

    It’s not clear how often we’ll see updated ScoreCards.  The current document is dated “September 2009,” implying a monthly publication, but some of the graphs cover data dating as far back as January, 2004.  Even if this is the only ScoreCard we see, it’s a nice gesture.  Score one for Mr. Mitchell.

  • I took advantage of my “All You Can Jet Pass” with JetBlue to spend the day in Manhattan yesterday for no particular reason.  I’d like to share a couple highlights of my trip.

    We’ll Need Both Horsepower

    I noticed the New York Police Department has purchased some interesting law enforcement vehicles I hadn’t seen before:

    NYPD Enforcer

    NYPD Enforcer

    In the words of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (in the episode Space Mutiny), “Put your helmet on!  We’ll be reaching speeds of three!”

    Location, Location, Location

    On my way up Fifth Avenue, I noticed a suspicious lack of overwhelming crowds in the 34th street area.  On a drizzly, foggy morning, I decided it might be the perfect time to see the top of the Empire State Building for the first time.  I walked straight in past the enormous rooms setup with stanchions to control the usual crowds, all completely empty, and went straight to the top.  Even in bad weather the view is fantastic.

    Looking down, I couldn’t help noticing this advertisement pointed straight up at us:

    Empire State Building Ad

    Empire State Building Ad

    Since the official website (under Frequently Asked Questions) reports that 3.8 million people visit the building every year, statistically a few were probably looking for an apartment.  On the other hand, about 90% of the people I heard up there were speaking French, suggesting they weren’t from the New York area, and thus were far less likely to be moving in.

    Cupcakes!

    The Buttercup Bake Shop is as fantastic as its pictures suggest.  No humorous anecdote; just good cupcakes.

  • Anecdotes, Boston 15.04.2009 1 Comment

    A colleague stopped at my office on her way into work a couple weeks ago to report a wonderfully exciting new discovery on the Green Line: MBTA police implementing the very policy I’ve advocated since our fair city first introduced the CharlieCard.

    The MBTA police, operating undercover, will watch people board at the rear doors, then show their badges and ask to scan everyone’s CharlieCards. Those with valid monthly passes quietly return to their books and newspapers.  Those with only stored-value cards (or no cards at all) get citations.

    Although I haven’t seen any news reports on the subject, anecdotal reports from my coworkers and websites suggest the first citation is about $15.  For a second offense, the penalty jumps to $100 or $125.

    I wholeheartedly approve!

    I carry a valid pass, so I’m entitled to board any MBTA vehicle at any time.  I’ll happily prove that fact to an inspector whenever I’m asked.  Thus, let me board efficiently at any door.  Catching only a few people trying to exploit the leeway granted me and my fellow honest commuters can compensate for any lost fare revenue.

  • For reasons that I shall leave ambiguous, I was perusing the (current) Boston Municipal Code yesterday. There’s some great stuff in there. For example, it’s illegal to manufacture or sell a mercury thermometer in the city of Boston, except by prescription.

    Then there’s this restriction:

    Whoever sells, or distributes, or imports, or loans, or possesses with the intent to sell … a book, pamphlet, ballad, printed paper, phonographic record, print, picture, figure, image, or description which depicts or describes … patently offensive representations or descriptions of ultimate sexual acts, normal or perverted, actual or simulated … shall be subject to a fine of fifty ($50.00) dollars….

    Then there’s this regulation for street-railway cars (emphasis mine):

    No person having control of the speed of a street-railway car passing in a street shall fail to keep a vigilant watch for all teams, carriages, and persons, especially children, nor shall such person fail to strike a bell several times in quick succession on approaching any team, carriage, or person, and no person shall, after such striking of a bell, delay or hinder the passage of the car.

    That’s a point to me: my city built its subway and streetcars before anybody dreamed of having automobiles… and it’s still there today.

  • The downside of flying through Atlanta is that I had to fly through Atlanta. This is an experience that everyone who’s ever flown will find familiar. I remember doing it at least as young as 13 or 14 on the now defunct Trans World Airlines. I was flying from Denver to Boston then too, but living in the other city. (Life is oddly circular that way.)

    Sorkin’s West Wing even wove it in:

    Josh: Did you get me a flight?
    Donna: Yes.
    Josh: One that gets me there in time for dinner?
    Donna: Yes.
    Josh: And I don’t have to change planes in Atlanta?

    Donna: No. Even better: you do have to change plans in Atlanta.
    Josh
    : I told you…
    Donna: You have to change planes in Atlanta. Deal with it.

    (later)

    Donna: You don’t know any special, secret flights to Palm Beach today, do you?
    Sam: Yeah, but you gotta change planes in Atlanta.

    The upside is that the flight from Atlanta to Boston offers a gorgeous view of New York City. At night in particular, it’s clear that Brooklyn has some very orderly-looking streets. Oh, and Manhattan looks pretty good too.

  • Denver International Airport has a distinctive way of paging passengers on its concourses:

    Mr. Smith, Mr. Charles Smith; Mr. Atkins, Mr. Derek Atkins; Mr. Sorkin, Mr. Aaron Sorkin – please dial zero on an airport courtesy telephone.

    The familiar rhythm is oddly comforting.

    Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport also demonstrated a distinctive way of paging passengers during my layover there:

    Charles Smith, please go to the nearest phone and dial 911 for a very important message.

    I’m not sure how Charles Smith reacted, but I sure didn’t find it comforting.

  • Journies, Quips 17.08.2008 2 Comments

    Which of the following seems stranger?

    1. A person sits on an airplane and reads Playboy magazine.
    2. A person leaves behind their copy of Playboy magazine in the seat-back pocket for the next traveler to enjoy.

    (Yes, there was really a copy on board.  No, the airline had not just generously provided it.)

  • Essays, Journies 11.08.2008 1 Comment

    I’ve upheld the Washington Metrorail system as something of a paragon of a good subway system since I first visited the city in 1999.  Washington needs to fix some basic faults, though.

    Let’s start with an easy one.  Directional signs are prone to showing an arrow beside words like, “For (dot) service,” where the “dot” is actually a colored circle – to those who aren’t color blind, at least.  To those who are, it’s as descriptive as me writing “dot.”  Signs on, say, the Green Line in Boston are all colored a bright green, but then in black-on-white lettering underneath we see the words, “Green Line.”

    I applaud wholeheartedly the words printed at the bottom of the Metrorail system map “Metro is Accessible.”  In Boston the system map carries footnotes like (I swear I’m not making this up), “State: Blue Line wheelchair access outbound side only.”  We absolutely should do everything we can to allow wheelchair users full access to our transit systems (and other places), but why do all the hard work to support wheelchairs and then blow it on color blindness by not adding some simple words to the signs?

    What’s worse, station signs seem to be deliberately hidden.  They’re poorly lit, and almost impossible to see from inside the trains.  I ride the T every day and I’ve never had trouble navigating the New York City subway.  When I find myself sitting in a train thinking, “I wish I knew which stop this is,” something has gone wrong.

    Compounding this problem, station announcements are still made manually, even on a system whose trains themselves can be operated by computers.  Even Boston’s Green Line, built (in part) in 1867, now features clear, enunciated, automated station announcements.  What keeps Washington from adding this technology?

    Washington, you’ve lost my vote in the transit wars.  Sure, Boston could benefit from signs counting down the minutes until the next train’s arrival, but at least we know where our stations are.

  • A collection of events from Washington DC:

    First, a scene at the Lincoln Memorial: A girl sits on the massive steps holding a camera in either hand, with her friend holding a third in front of her face.  “What are you talking about?  I’m smiling in all of these!” she insists in a thick Brooklyn accent.

    Second, a moment at the Air and Space Museum: a man asks someone else in his party, “What’s that?”  His companion answers, “I don’t know but it has something to do with Saturn.”  This occurs beneath the full-size engine bells from the Saturn S-1C – the first stage of the Saturn V rocket that carried Apollo the moon.

    Third, a moment at the Air and Space Museum: a man says, “Hehehehehehehehe!” repeatedly the entire time he explores the Apollo to the Moon exhibit.  Wait, that wasn’t overheard; that was me (and I kept it mostly in my head).  Besides seeing Columbia itself in the main hall, they have the actual flight checklists from several flights, and all manner of other genuine artificats from the Apollo age.

    Plus, in the International Spy Museum I got to crawl through an actual air duct and look down at unsuspecting museum visitors.  At the time I was focused on keeping quiet in my role as Peter Wozniak the spy, but in retrospect I should have said, “Come out to the coast!  We’ll get together, have a few laughs…”

  • JK Rowling (which she herself has said is to be pronounced “rolling, like ‘rolling pin’”) gave the Commencement address at Harvard this year. Now you can watch online.

    Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

    You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

    That part’s funny, but watch the whole thing.  This is the construction and utilization of language that makes English worth listening to.

    (And yes, this is a point to Boston.)