I Believe Two Things

Dear Neighbors,

Following are appropriate places to put half-eaten slices of pizza;

• Your stomach
• The garbage
• Someone else’s plate (in specific circumstances only)

Following are inappropriate places to put half-eaten slices of pizza:

• The middle of a hallway
• An elevator

Please make a note of these guidelines immediately to avoid any recurrence of this problem

Sincerely,
Someone from civilized society