Neighbor Rules Parole Hearing: Rule #5

When my neighbors moved out in April, I submitted a list of demands for their replacements. Now that the building is full of students again, I can evaluate how well my demands have been met.

Demand #5 read, “They must not, under any circumstances, set the building on fire again.”

I got this e-mail on Thursday:

To prevent the building fire alarms from activating and leading to the apartment evacuations that we have experienced in the last few days, please keep your front doors closed when smoke forms from over-cooking food.

Although I wasn’t at home during these evacuations, this is an inauspicious way to start the school year.

2 thoughts on “Neighbor Rules Parole Hearing: Rule #5

  1. just pixels says:

    Nothing like a home cooked meal. That is, a meal that cooked your home.

    “…front doors closed…”
    How many front doors does your apartment have? I’m guessing two: one to the hallway, another to the balcony on the front of the building. (Just a lucky guess.) A better notice would say open one of your front doors and close the other. Given these students got 1200-or-better on their SATs, they should be able to figure out which one to open.

    But here’s a thought: Make apartment cooking safety an SAT question. Wrong answer costs 800 points.

  2. Ben says:

    You joke, but the e-mail continued:

    When smoke enters the hallways and common areas, it activates the building alarms. Please only open your windows and/or balcony doors to vent out cooking smoke.

    (Emphasis mine)

    They really did need further instructions.

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